August 16, 2004

Napoleon Dynamite

My name is Napoleon Dynamite. I am neither napoleonic nor am I explosive. I am not short, I am tall and I am bland, I am not fiery. In fact, my facial expression never changes. I am skinny, and as it turns out I am a pretty damn good dancer. I play tetherball with myself.

My grandma looks like a dyke. My Uncle Rico could possibly be weirder than I am. He wants to go back to 1982 so that he can win the state championship. He makes videos of himself throwing footballs. The videos are completely retarded to watch.

I don't curse as much as you might expect.

We have a pet llama named Tina that I have to feed. My brother Kip looks like a miniature John Waters. He has an online girlfriend, who after she showed up, Wayne and his wife thought might be a man. She's about 6 inches taller than Kip.

My and my best friend Pedro are in FFA. We go to high school in a small town in rural Idaho. We went to the prom and Pedro took the girl that I should've taken.

My name is Napoleon Dynamite. I am in a movie that's pretty funny. I don't know why it's funny because nothing really happens. Just watching me interact with the other characters is funny to watch. Especially when I have a grapefruit.

The movie must be funny because Wayne said to check it out. Be sure and sit through the end credits and get the extra scene. The opening credits are enough to qualify this as one of the quirkiest films in history.

This was Wayne and Lucy's first trip to the Liberty Hall theater in Lawrence. What a cool old place. [find the "enter site" link for the flash website] They show films but they also have bands once in a while. Robert Earl Keen will be there this coming Sunday but Wayne and Lucy will be coming back from his niece's wedding in Wisconsin.

Posted by Wayne at August 16, 2004 12:00 AM
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